Monday, 21 October 2013

Confessions of a Domestic God(l)ess.

Hello happy campers.

I take stock of my talents.

  • I can tell a filthy joke without so much as blushing, and swear with enough conviction to make a sailor cringe.
  • I can suture a wound and the sight of blood does not worry me too much.
  • I have run a marathon, and can run 10km without too much worries.
  • I can cook a nice dinner. Furthermore I can look at what I have in the cupboard and make up tasty dishes from what is in there. I am creative like that.
  • I have worked many night shifts and can talk coherently afterwards on the ward round.
  • I can speak authoritatively to a large audience (in fact I enjoy it)
  • I can pick a nice bottle of wine for a dinner party, and am often called on to pick wine when out.
  • I am not too afraid to say what I think, and have learned to do so in a tactful manner
  • I am bloody brilliant at parallel parking - I often say that if I had a dad, he'd be very proud of this fact
  • I give good cuddles and am a good friend, daughter and sister.
What I am really shit at is housework.

My fella is really good at housework. In a past life, he was a butcher, and learned to clean things to a fine shine.

I don't have a dishwasher in my current place. My dishes have suffered for it with little bits of missed crud on them. I recently learned my fella often re did them.

I can't fold a sheet to save myself. Even my towel folding is crookedy and try as I might I can't get 'em straight.

There is clutter, lots of it. I have difficulty keeping things tidy. There is lots of dust. It is better for my nose if I leave it settled rather than upset it with a duster.

Don't even start me on my closet.

And though I like a garden as much as anybody else, and like looking at flowers, any proposition of me actually doing any gardening will be met with a glazed over expression.

I think it's genetic. My mum, being a single mother, didn't have a lot of time to clean, bless her. My nanna, a brilliant cook, was slightly less brilliant at cleaning. It's in the mitochondria.

Don't get me wrong, I do hygeine fine, my shower isn't mouldy, and I run by the general rule of no vermin.

I suspect when I move in with my fella, he would like me to be a bit more tidy. I will try, really I will.
But when he asked me what the best bit of the new house was, I said "the dishwasher". And I have insisted on getting a cleaner for the heavy tasks. It's good for the economy, getting a cleaner. I am pretty selfless like that.

At the end of the day, I don't get too worried by my lack of household talent. I invited a neighbour and her new bubba in for a cuppa, stating "If you don't mind my mess.....ahhh sod it, just come in for a cuppa, place is a bit messy". Warmth is much more important than tidiness.

Having said that, I am all about self-improvement, and I want to do my share of keeping things tidy.

Any tips for me? Do you know of any cleaning/organising blogs?


  1. I think being a good friend, daughter, and sister trumps all. In my opinion housework is overrated- it's only ever a temporary solution... P.S. I ran 10 mms twice this week- thought of you each time x

    1. Hah, thanks HiH...good on you for running! is that 10 minutes or 10millimetres? Either is good!

  2. You're talking to the wrong person. I wish I was a great domestician hence my odd fascination for Martha...and worse I don't run marathons.

  3. Hmm, I don't think I have a domestic bone in my body... I hate cleaning with a vengeance, hence our house is often dusty etc.... Less said the better. J does the bulk of the housework, including the dishes, as we have no dishwasher either.
    Sorry, I'm no help at all, but I think your talents are far better than cleaning!

    1. thanks for making me feel better Ruth and Naomi!

  4. My place is clean, but can run a little untidy with stuff. I have a 5 things rule. Everytime I go into a room input 5 things away. Big or small, they are just put away properly. That way I don't get overwhelmed.

  5. I think our family functions better in a clean and ordered environment. We both work long hours and I like a sanctuary style home and we entertain a lot so I like the place to be visitor ready.

    I think that doing things immediately is key- as soon as washing comes out of dryer I fold/iron it. I do not let tasks pile up, I don't let dirty surfaces fester, I never let washing up sit (we do not have a dishwasher).

    I have a girl who comes in once a week to do dusting and floors and I am always wiping crap up with baby wipes!

    Everyone is different and you should do what works for you. Because I am so busy I do not want to spend precious down time cleaning so I maintain everything to a high standard. Clutter makes it harder to clean- would a god purge help? I visit the Salvos often to rid myself of books, magazines clothes toys and miscellany.


    1. FF, I was hoping you would come and comment on this post!
      Being Quite the Domestic Goddess and all.
      Seriously I admire your dedication to household and bodily upkeep, especially being a busy working mumma.

  6. Anybody can dust, but it takes skill to reverse park. My tip(s): rest on your laurels and let those who can clean, clean. Or pay for a cleaner. Or keep your line of sight higher than the floor. Or lower your standards. Or only have boys in the house - they don't see mess and dust, in the main, (Maybe that is just my boys?!)

    Or do a little everyday. Declutter so it is easier to clean.

    But I prefer to have a mad moment of harridan-like screaming to get everyone on board.

    1. Yes, I should do 10 minutes of tidying every day. I can take it away from Facebook time.
      Welcome Lucinda :D