A hundred reasons to smile, a few reasons to be sad.

I had a lovely time on my holiday. Those of you who follow me on instagram and effbee will be abreast of it. If you come visit me, I will happily show you photos over a good cup of coffee. I enjoy looking through them.

Visiting the area gave me a sense of why the Mid-East is in the position it is now.

It's been nearly a month since I returned. Gosh. I am at the point where I am thinking about the next holiday.

I've been headfirst into work, earning the cash, dealing with the things. The holiday seems to have broken the cycle of stress that I had before. This is a good thing.

Easter was a nice opportunity for a 4-day break. We saw Urzila Carlson, the comedian. She is one of the funniest comics I have ever seen, with a warm persona. I recommend.

Easter Saturday, I went to see my ex-husband. I was very anxious as I had not seen him in a while. I was irrationally scared that he might want to pick some bones regarding the past. He looked genuninely happy to see me, and I was happy to see him. However, seeing him was confronting. He was quite bad. He had difficulty speaking, difficulty swallowing. A PEG tube had been inserted and he had lost weight. It is distressing to think about, that, very soon, he won't be here. I had some bouts of sad after seeing him; it is just horrible.

I am still crossfitting like a boss. I have taken some initiative with my diet, and joined an online program with a fellow by the name of Jordan Lark. He gives you a program and you tell him on facebook what you've eaten and how you are going, and he replies. Accountability is key; I know very well what to do but it helps to be accountable. My problem is that much of the time I like food and wine more than I dislike my belly pooch/ I am two days in. I have not capitulated yet, I have been eating vegetables like a badass and I have been proactive with the food prep. I had thought I was eating well but now I am really eating well I realise how often we eat out, have wine, et cetera. On this I am allowed one dinner per week to eat what I like. Bloody hell I am looking forward to it.

I have been in the process of getting my shit in order, as far as I can, before I go into IVF. There are some things that I have to accept. Like that I will have to be proactive in seeking support during what will undoubtedly be a trying time. There are people, like my family, who I won't be able to ask for help. I will need to find my tribe, and know what help to request. Asking for help 101.

I have to find those hundred reasons to smile, those multiple small pleasures. Eating and drinking fancy food has made up most of my pleasure, and I need to diversify. I have been getting into actual paper books, and I have been reading this. Only problem with paper books as that they can't be read in the dark, like an iphone or ipad on night mode. I have a book for daytime and a book for night time. I need to plan little things to look forward to, activities with my partner and friends. Lots of little things.

All the pretties (Or: A remedy for meh)

Harro!

Things have been chugging along in life quite uneventfully, which is great.

I have been feeling a bit "meh" though, for various reasons.

That is a feeling of "meh" is neither good nor bad. It's okay, I'm okay! Things don't have to be ecstatic and exciting all the time. However, it is particularly now that I try and take pleasure in the smaller things.

Like having my family over in our backyard for a barbecue last weekend. Bella had her first canine visitor, and the two dogs did happy laps in the backyard. The weather was beautiful.

Our garden, like the whole neighbourhood, is bursting forth with blooms in a rather riotous fashion.

And, for the first time since I was about, I don't know, 4, I picked a posy, and did some floristry. Behold.

I had been procrastinating about getting my hair done, but went and attended it on Thursday. I had a lovely wander about South Melbourne. I had some lunch alfresco at the South Melbourne Market.

I had a Paella Valenciana. Having been to Valencia, I can say that this Paella was better. Al dente grains of rice, a flavoursome base and tender chicken and seafood. The only thing missing was a squeeze of lemon to cut through the richness and match the seafood. It tasted all the better for it being consumed outside on a nice day.

I bought a little trinket - the Misuzi bar necklace, in gold (image courtesy of misuzi.com.au)

I was very thrilled to learn that the little shop I bought it from (Mr. Darcy on Coventry St in South Melbourne) is one frequented by one Asher Keddie!

I have been to a couple of hens parties recently. For one of them, I donned a frock that I won from a competition on the blog iCurvy back in June. I got to pick one of three dresses (here) hand made to measure by  Audrey Lane (or more correctly the designer Ann Martin). She specialises in whimsical tea dresses which fit and flatter all shapes. I have to say, I am not really a girly-girl, but I felt really special in this dress, like I walked straight off the set of Mad Men, and also felt the need to twirl in it.

See? Made for twirling in!

It was comfortable, flattering and fit beautifully. It is a thick cotton, well made, and was firm enough to smooth bumpy bits. I wore it with some plain pointed black heels, and minimal accessories. Red lippy was mandatory. I picked the dress because of the beautiful lace detail.

Ann was lovely and helpful to deal with, and she rechecked all of my measurements (some I gave were dodgy). The dress came quickly, the delay was in me finding the appropriate location to wear it.

I might just have to take it out dancing next time. Or to a garden wedding.  Or I could work it back with a black jacket and heels to wear to work.

Had I been interested in horse racing, I could've worn it to Derby day yesterday, the theme colours there being black and white. The people watching on the train into town was, as my mate FF would say "11/10". There was lots of bare skin on show, and the weather was a quite chilly; there might have been some frostbite occurring!

Now I am going to do some hardcore decluttering of my wardrobe (there using FF parlance again). I have the first world issue of a jammed closet and not a thing to wear. I have a colleague who has had a very rough last 2 years, culminating in some major surgery. I am going to weed out some stuff that I don't wear and she might like, to hopefully up her mojo. She deserves it.

I am looking forward to having a short, broken week, on account of cup day. I plan to write an abstract (like a precis of a full scientific paper) to submit to a conference. Here is hoping for some writing inspiration!

What have you got on for the week? Anything exciting? Tell me!