From the department of random...

Hello! How are you? Good? Good.

Happy Friday!

How's your week been?

It's been a bit of the usual for me.

'Cept on Wednesday, instead of going to running group, I went to see Ballet Revolucion at the Arts Centre. This is a dance troupe, with musicians, out of Havana, Cuba.

You're Welcome :D

 

Some actual dancing.

I actually was lucky enough to go to Cuba in January. I had an absolute ball. One of the things I particuarly loved was the music and the dancing. I salsa-ed my toosh off at any available opportunity.

This was actually more contemporary/ballet/hip hop, set to live pop music. Beyonce, Sting, Cee Lo Green, Shakira and others. A little bit of African. But very little Cuban music. This I was a bit disappointed about. Cuban music does not fail to get you dancing. Or chair dancing, as the case may be.

Yet the mastery in the dancing could not be denied; these were beautiful dancers, and amazing to watch. We were third row from the front (I booked in Feb) and we could see every twitch of the muscle. We saw the sweat dripping from them. We saw all their little grins. They were great performers as well as being technically great dancers. The fella second from right in the top picture was the best of the lot, all of his moves just contained....un pequeno mas (a little more...).

Cubans are beautiful to look at. They are all descended from either slaves out of West Africa or Spanish invaders. Hence there is pale, dark, and every shade of bronze (or mulatto) in between. This makes for some stunning, stunning people. These dancers were no exception.

I should add here that there are no "native" Cubans, like say the Incans of Peru. The Taino people don't really exist as a group in Cuba (though there may be descendants). Most of them were killed off by fighting, disease or privation when the Conquistadors came in the 15th and 16th centuries. It is a pity, as, from all accounts from the era, these were lovely, generous people, and murder or aggression were unknown.

We need more of that in the world.

Well that was an interesting aside. Bet you can sleep better at night.

In the spirit of Dry July, getting healthy and generally practicing what I preach, I started tracking my food and drink using the weight watchers app on my iPhone. I decided it was time I got a bit more mindful, the wardrobe fairies have been coming in and sewing my jeans a bit tighter at night over the past year or so. I have even restarted pilates. My abs are a good-sore!
 

Yet a few days I was really tired in the afternoon, and craving carbs, so some crack was in order:

FYI Furry Friend chocolate is better than Freddo Frog chocolate. 

Speaking of Dry July, I have been good. A golden ticket (exit pass) was bought one day to go out to a dinner, and I didn't go berserk. I am learning to handle dinners out, or chilly Sunday afternoons, or stressful days without a glass of wine in hand. I have also raised over 500 bucks, through harassing friends, family and colleagues.


I had a lovely card from one of my study patients today. She was very excited to give it to me. I told her I would treasure it.

She thought it was hilarious. I agreed.

After receiving an email from a shoe retailer advertising cheap boots, I decided a trip to Northland (Or Norflands as it is known to the locals) was in order. I decided my old pair of black boots needed retiring. Out with the old, in with the new:

Last Sunday, Bastille Day, I bought a bottle of Investment Champagne. And a croissant. As you do.

It will be drank after July.

On Sunday, I will be doing the 10km Run Melbourne event, with a few girls from running group. That evening I have organised a dinner at a gastropub.

I just came across this old pic.

I bet you just squealed in delight. Admit it.
It is Candy the Staffy. The ex got custody and I have not seen her in some time....she had been sick. It was best not to hear anything further. I would prefer to remember her like this, hiding under the table and coming up for a pat and/or food and cuddles.

I will not leave things on a sad note though, no siree

I will leave you with the following questions:

What are you up to this weekend?
And where do you stand on the "double leather" look (ie knee high leather boots with leather jacket)?

I personally won't go there, and these boots have introduced a fashion conundrum with regards to jacket choice.

It's good to see I am considering the important issues.

Cheers.

Trayvon Martin and Australian politics. A rant. And a connection.

This post contains coarse language. And politics. And over-use of capital letters. And might not make a great deal of sense and you might not even agree with it.

Consider yourselves warned.

Happy Monday Peeps! Many thanks to those who commented on last post. I am feeling a bit better now, perhaps over the worst of it.


Now, the real purpose for the post. 

USA, I AM SO ANGRY WITH YOU RIGHT NOW!

And when I say You, I don't mean the average American. The Americans I know are lovely people. It's the Powerful, Faceless Interests. The Faceless Men of the Labor Party have NOTHING on these guys. Big "too big to fail, too rich to jail" banks and bankers. Big Pharma. Big Tobacco. Big Oil. Big Religion. BIG STUPID WHITE MEN. (And a few women in there too, unfortunately).

Barack has his heart in the right place but I really do wonder what hope he has against all this.


100 million people with no health insurance. If they get sick, they are fucked. And a powerful right wing blocking Obamacare every inch of the way. Because it's unconstitutional or some shit like that.

It's really easy to get a gun though. It's in the CONSTITUTION, the right to bear arms. And should you get one, and shoot somebody with it, and go to jail, you will get free health care there, though....(I am not saying incarcerated people should be denied medical care, I am just pointing out the Lunacy).

Yet you may not NECESSARILY go to jail.

If you fire a warning shot at an abusive husband, you get 20 years. If you shoot a black kid dead because he looked dodgy - off. Beat a gay man to within an inch of his life - slap on wrists. Deny him the right to marry - hell yeah! But don't, under any circumstances, abort a foetus, 'cause that's MURDER.

Yes, that poor kid, Trayvon Martin. We have all heard about that. It's a bit more complicated than the whole black/white/poor/rich dichotomy, and more based on some convoluted laws related to self defence, but it's FUCKED. My eloquence escapes me on that issue, and that just seems like the most approprate descriptive term.

What a slap in the face for the Parents. For the community. What that ruling by the Florida court did, really, was tell them that Trayvon's death meant nothing. Was not even worth punishing. There is no doubt that Zimmerman killed that kid.

That would fill them with white-hot, desperate, hopeless rage.

Basically, all these examples I give are examples of inequality. From the common and everyday to the outrageous. 

On a more widespread level, it's really hard to see some people getting all the breaks, all the privileges, getting million dollar payrises, when you do it really, really tough. When you can't feed your family because you are on the minimum wage and there is no buffer there. When somebody hurts you and they get away with it. You live life frightened and just fucking angry. The risk of being on either end of a violent crime is high in that kind of environment.

Inequality is a real bitch. The countries with the best standards of living (Scandinavia, Canada, Australia) have good income, but also have economic equality. The technical term is the Gini coefficient. I am a Wikipedia nerd. They have less crime and better health outcomes and better just about everything.
[if you are still reading, bear with me - I am about to make a point here]

America ranks poorly in this area. Despite having shitloads of cash, it will not look after its poor. It openly and flagrantly shits all over them. 

Back to Australia. We have our problems, yes, but the vast majority of people have access to education and health care. Things are getting harder though, I look at the opportunities I was afforded 15 years ago, and doubt that I would have access to them now.

These things are being undermined, slowly and insidiously. As a wealthy nation we need to do more, make things more equal. Neither of the major parties are doing that. 

I went to a fundraiser yesterday, for Greens MP Adam Bandt. He was talking about dental care. Marriage equality. Putting more money into education. He proposed to fund it by taxing mining companies, big banks and people who earn over $1million a year. I thought "FUCK YEAH ADAM, YOU RULE".

It may seem a bit circuitous, a long bow to draw, between the murder of an American teen, and the Australian political system. And they way I have put it might be a bit clumsy but what I am saying is this -

Rather than vilifying those who are disadvantaged, it would not hurt us collectively to say "hey, you, I'm gonna give you a hand, and give you an opportunity to get out of that cycle". There is evidence that that helps all of us. It makes people less frightened and edgy. Less likely to commit crimes against each other.

We will probably still have those antisocial fuckwads who kill/rape - I am really distressed reading about the women in Melbourne who were abducted last week. In my ranty mood, for this, I would like to put up signs saying "hey, You, how about you leave others alone to go about their daily business".

But that is another rant. And that kind of crime, at the moment, is thankfully relatively rare.

Under the weather.

It's FAREEEEEZZZING in Melbourne. No cloud, blast chilly nights, sunny days.
But that is one of Melbourne's quirks. Lots of seasons within seasons.

Yet that is not why I am writing.

I am crook. Under the weather. And I can't talk about it.
When you have a lurgy, you can complain. You can give people graphic descriptions of your mucus/ vomitus/ bowel motions.....if you are anything like me :D

In this day and age, you can also share it with 500 of your closest Facebook Friends.

I am feeling bloody crook, and there are precious few people I can talk about it with. My fella. A close friend. One understanding work colleague.

I feel dizzy all the time. And headachey. I am easily tired. I am usually fit but my muscles ache when I go up stairs or lift some washing.

The worst thing is the nausea. Some stomach cramping, diarrhoea. Irritability. My tastebuds are  not tasting things properly (my medicinal freddo frogs have tasted funny lately).

Last couple of days, I have had to take the afternoons off and go to bed. I feel a bit better after a nap but if I start exerting myself (ie doing the washing) I feel crook again.

With my fiendish attention to hand hygiene, colds are a once yearly occurrence for me. This is the sickest I have felt in a while.

I don't really feel that comfortable taking work time off, even though I am no good to man nor beast when I feel like this.

I have what is referred to in the business as SSRI discontinuation syndrome.

Yes, my nice little specialist has given me the green light to come off the Sunny D's and I am feeling reasonably confident to do it. I weaned the dose properly.

I don't remember feeling this lousy last time. Those little serotonin receptors, ubiquitous in the body, are yelling a collective tiny "what the fuck???"

I will get through it. It will get better. Just need to look after myself. Which I am much better at, nowadays.


If you are crook, I hope you feel better soon. And big virtual hugs through the cloud!

Relationship Dynamics the Offspring way.

Hey, and apologies in advance for the year 12 style literature analysis.

Actually, not sorry at all. I love getting all excited and analytical about this stuff. This is about the only stuff I overthink.

If you have read my blog for any length of time you will know that I am a die-hard Offspring fan.

Nikki over at Styling You workshops Nina's style every Thursday morning. It has a big following. And the fashion is one of the big drawcards of the show, along with the brilliant ensemble cast.

What I appreciate about the show, though, is its study in relationships.

Yes - Realistic portrayals of relationships and their nuances make very compelling viewing, and it is magic when people can relate to and connect with the characters. For instance, I never really appreciated Sex and the City until I started dating, and getting out and about a bit. That was a groundbreaking show, insofar as it broke apart the whole "virgin/whore" dichotomy that women were confined to in television prior to this. And there really are "men like that" out there. I could go on about this for a while.

But I digress.

Having had some experience of the ups and downs of relationships, I confess that I find some parts of Offspring especially poignant.

Foremost it reinforces a belief I have about the way we interact, and that is

The way your personality is expressed is very much affected by the people around you....

Yes, though we have an intrinsic personality style, the people that you interact with can bring out your very best, your very worst, and your most neurotic, and your most calm and caring. We are at our best when somebody listens to us, hears us, understands us and loves us fiercely for who we are.

Conversely, when people put us down, and this can be very insidious, we may try and suppress those bits of ourself that we are uncomfortable with, but they come tumbling out in an ungraceful manner, eventually.

This may seem all captain obvious but we can be very unaware of the way in which others can influence how we act.

Take Nina. Nina likes to talk. When Patrick gets all shut down, Nina talks more, and it gets very grating - I even had a text from a friend and fellow die-hard Offspringer during an ad break "Gee Nina is grating on me tonight". Sure, the awkwardness is expanded for dramatic effect, but I am sure we have all been there. She blabbers, she gets cut down, she feels bad, she tries not to do it again, but in doing so, she is denying the very essence of who she is.

I found the scene where Nina was seeing her therapist alone last night quite emotional, as it reminded me of a few sessions I have had with a very skilled therapist. (Though the therapist was not quite as fetching as the one here)

The therapist gave her a compliment, made her feel safe, made her feel good about herself. Nobody there to shut her down.

Nina lay down, relaxed, and said exactly what was on her mind, very clearly and very succinctly. It was an entirely reasonable and understandable thing she said.

Having been there myself, these are the useful times, the breakthrough times, and from there we can work on things.

When Nina is in the operating theatre or labour ward, sequestered from the nurses making biting comments, Nina is calm and in control.

Outside, a different story.

When Nina is with her family, or Billie, or sometimes Patrick, they make her feel like an idiot, then she goes and acts like one. Sound uncomfortably familiar?

Take also Billie. Billie has a heart of gold, but can be abrasive and say the wrong thing. Yet Mick seizes on Billie's traits "scary in a good way" and tells her he loves them. Sometimes in song. And whaddya know? Billie softens and starts acting normal, even nice. And that is great to watch. Billie's belief in Mick, and not so subtle nudges have turned Mick from laconic bartender/handyman/pub crooner into "the Justin Bieber of inner northern Melbourne".

They bring forth the best in each other.

And Geraldine. She was a lovely and supportive mother when she was with Darcy. With Philip? Not so much. Wine and pot with snarky remarks, anyone?

Who we are with can make all the difference to how we are as people.
To paraphrase what a friend once told me "keep company with people who bring forth your best".

It's a hard when your realise that your partner and/or family does not. As it is generally hard to make others change their behaviour, you then have to modify your own. You can make a decision to be kind and understanding, and hope that it propagates, but this can wear you down if it's not returned.

Or you can walk away. That's hard too.


As for Nina and Patrick - when he starts listening understandingly to her rambles, she might ramble a bit less. When she kindly says "ok, I can see you need some space now, I will be here when you need me", he might shut off a bit less. If Nina says to Billie with a loving glint in her eye "steady on tiger", Billie might just back off a little.

Nice that I have learned about how to negotiate a relationship. But sadly it doesn't make for good telly.

Wine (or lack thereof). Weekends. Boss Shoes.

Happy Monday to you!

It was a bit of a quiet one this past weekend. The fella is still suffering at the hands of Mr. Jetlag, and after dinner he is three sheets to the wind. Still, he prefers to fall asleep on the couch rather than go to bed like I tell him. Bless.

Apart from a tease of sunshine on Saturday Morning, Melbourne put on some of its most spectacularly shitty winter weather. Rainy and miserable. This only exacerbated the urge to stay inside with arse planted firmly on the couch.

However, as I am doing Run Melbourne on the 21st of this month, I got myself out for a longer run - I managed just under 10km along the beach path. Going out was windy and going back was rainy, but I managed to get up to Green Point in Brighton to take this pic. If you squint you can see the bathing boxes.

That was my longest distance since March. I tolerated it quite well, though I hadn't had enough to eat or drink before and felt a bit sick after. Rain and cold can hide impending dehydration quite well.

Sunday involved a sleep-in and a drive to charge up the fella's car battery. We headed along the coast and got as far as Mt. Eliza.

The Mornington Peninsula is a very emotionally-laden place for me. My ex-husband lives there, as does a man I dated who fucked me over hurt my feelings - I wrote about that here. So I tersely said to the fella "ok, I think we've gone far enough, we can turn back now".

Later, I gave my fella an explanation for that episode of weirdness. I suggested that we could do a winery tour of the Mornington Peninsula. Something that would cognitively reframe the area for me, and give me some nice memories and feelings about it.

And, speaking of wine, I am proud to say that I have not fallen at the first hurdle, and have remained alcohol free this past weekend. This was despite having a super busy day on Friday, with many of the usual Friday Frustrations. I met the fella for Mexican and could not find a park around Richmond for love nor money, so I ended up parking ages away. Alas, only a virgin Margarita.

But Holy freakin Hell what I would not have given for a nice glass o'red on Sunday afternoon. Something to warm me up from the inside.

I have noticed that I don't look forward to food as much when it will have no alcohol with it. Wine really heightens (perhaps artificially) my enjoyment of food. I eat more when I have wine.

All useful things to note.

I will get there. I will do this. And now I will segway into a bleat for donations. Click here for the link. Cancer Research. St Vincent's Hospital. Super good cause etc.

And now, behold a picture of my new shoes. You will agree they are boss. BOSS I tell you.

With only sockettes. My feet are chilly as. The jeans I got for $19 at coles (mix apparel). Bargasm.

Now tell me -

Are certain areas no-go zones for you because they make you sad? 
Do you have a pair of boss shoes?
Do you run?

Ways to happily eat more vegetables. 3 days into Dry July, I reflect.

Harro!

In my line of work, I advise people about healthy habits on a(n almost) daily basis, I figure I need to practice what I preach. I have thought this for most of my career, after spending my Intern year getting many of my meals from vending machines. So, though I might fall short of the mark myself, I always have my own health at the back of my mind, and I do try.

The whole eat well and exercise thing is not controversial - all experts agree on this. They might quibble about exactly what food and what exercise is best, but the basic premise remains.

One thing that all health practitioners agree on though is that most of us need to eat more veggies. No, not potatoes, nor really sweet potatoes, they are, as far as I am concerned, in the same group as bread and pasta - yummy and full of carbs.

[I am not talking against Potatoes, I have never met a potato I didn't like.] 

Pretty much every other vegetable has the following qualities

• full of micronutrients (vitamins, minerals)
• full of fibre
• minimal calories

The problem is, with the exception of onion, garlic (herbs) and pumpkin, on their own, they are not intrinsically tasty. Mish Bridges and her ilk would have you steaming them and eating them en masse and telling you that you HAD BETTER LOVE IT, I like the French approach. They eat lots of veggies, but make them tasty. This is what I try to do. 

Here are a few ideas

Baby spinach

• I am not a big fan of spinach, but know it is good for me. Whizzed up in a food processor, a big bag shrinks into a small volume of unadulterated goodness. It can be added to spag bol (where it looks like basil), soups, casseroles, pretty much any hot meal.
• Spinach can go into a smoothie quite well, it gives the smoothie a greenish tinge (hidden well by frozen/ fresh blueberries) but you can't taste it. Breakfast veggies!

Brussels sprouts

• Unfairly maligned. I have always loved them, because my Nanna cooked the bejeezus out of them and served them with love and a roast dinner. An even better recipe is: slice up about 10-15 sprouts, get a little butter and olive oil, sautee the sprouts in a frying pan, add a little lemon juice, some salt and pepper, sautee the sprouts further until bits of the sprouts become sticky and caramelised, add some toasted pine nuts or flaked almonds and cook for a bit more, then et voila and you are welcome.

Mushies

• I always try and buy mushies every shopping trip, and I like the brown ones. For a quick but posh meal, slice up some mushies, sautee in a bit of olive oil and stock, once mostly sauteed add a touch of truffle oil (you can get this in fancy food shops and a little goes a long way). Add some chopped chives or spring onion. Serve with a couple of poached eggs, and let the yolk go through the mushies. 
• Mushies lend themselves well to being whizzed up in a food processor. I like to add them to a spaghetti bolognese, as they become indistinguishable from the meat, and lend an earthy flavour to the sauce.

 Hommus

• I am very fond of hommus, it is tasty and healthy and it is a serve of veg. Especially when eaten with veggie sticks. When I get my thermomix I will make my own.

On adding fats to veg

• This makes nutritional sense. Green veg are rich in vitamin K, and orange veg in vitamin A. Vitamins A, D, E and K are fat soluble. Hence adding a little butter to the veg not only makes the taste better, it makes the nutrients more bio-available (in English - more easily absorbed by the intestines)

Other general ideas

• green beans with a little butter and seeded mustard - oh yeah. A little butter, lemon juice, salt and pepper is good too. Acid helps with iron absorption, and this is good as the iron in green vegetables is not very bio-available.
• Have a look at anything Yotam Ottolenghi has written, he has a wonderful way with vegetables. His book Plenty is fantastic.
• Parsley grows virally in the garden - take advantage of this. It is super nutritious. I had a surfeit of parsley recently, which I made into a walnut and parsley pesto.
• I have my eggplant at the ready. I am going to make this caponata. It is so yummy that I can serve it up with steak or chicken and not even miss the spuds. Really.
• I am very fond of a slaw. I buy the basic mix in the bag at the supermarket, and jazz it up with chives, and then soak in a bit of lemon juice to soften which will minimise the amount of mayo required
• If you have a food processor or thermomix, whizz up a couple of beetroot with one carrot, an apple, an onion and some parsley. Add some lemon juice. If you are feeling bold, mix in some mayo. Yum. 
• Cold weather lends itself well to braises - veggies like fennel, silverbeet and chard are great as a braise. Go nuts with the garlic.
• Mash some well-boiled pumpkin with some butter and chopped chives, and have instead of mashed potato. More nutrients, less carbs.

Is your mouth watering yet? Mine is. 

 Now. About dry July....

The idea of a month without wine....is a bit daunting. I will admit. But, being a reflective person, I have paused for a little thought on this. Broken it down. A lot of people don't, or won't.

The thing is, my enjoyment of nice meals, social events and music gigs is very much psychologically attached to having a glass or two (or sometimes more) of wine. Sometimes cider, but mostly wine.

A couple of glasses of wine is a common edge-taker-offer of stressful days, or meeting new people, especially so with the dating escapades that I went through.

I was driving through Fitzroy, Collingwood and the City yesterday, and I thought about all the memories of nice meals out, making new friends, some awkward/ fail moments. Meeting my fella. All of these involved wine in varying quantities. Ahhh, the memories. The fact that I have memories of all these situations is indeed reassuring!

I was eating dinner with my boyfriend last night, and I noted how slowly I was eating, and how I didn't eat all that much. It's not just the alcohol that is the killer, calorie wise, it is all the other things you ingest with it. I get the wine munchies. Dessert? Cheese? Absolutely! Can't not!

Wine, I will miss you, particularly your red variety. The nice little buzz you give me. The way you make a rich meal or a lump of cheese sing. The way you make it a bit easier to talk to people.

I will not miss the headache you give me after I have had more than a couple of glasses, or how my sleep is disturbed. Or how I am more prone to getting emotional......

I will learn to live without you for a bit. Hell, even maybe thrive without you...

_____________________________________

Do you eat enough vegetables (a big serve with lunch and dinner each day?)
Do you have any good ideas for serving veg? If so, I would like to hear them.

Do you enjoy a glass of wine (or three)? How would you go denying yourself for a month? Be honest, no judgement here :D

Dry July

Well Hello again.

Where has this year GONE? We are halfway through already!
It is the first of July, first day of the new financial year, it is the middle of winter (prime time for cracking open bottles of red wine)

Most notably, it is the first day of Dry July, which is a fundraising event where people get sponsored to abstain from Alcohol for a month.

A cursory glance at my blog will reveal how much I enjoy a soothing glass of vino, so there will be some adjusting to do. Like everything uncomfortable in this life, it will probably be good for me.

Sponsorship funds are donated to cancer research. I have elected for my funds raised to go to St Vincent's Hospital in Melbourne.

I have selected this hospital because the staff here did a very good job of looking after my ex father in law, Nigel (he was my father in law at the time) before he died 8 years ago. He had a nasty, aggressive tumour called a glioblastoma multiforme, a lesser known, less common but almost universally fatal cancer with an average prognosis of 1 to 2 years from diagnosis.

The staff at St Vincent's were wonderful and took a lot of time to explain things. Nigel was a lovely man and I get sad thinking about him, he was only young and  not ready to die. I am sure he would be sad with what ended up happening with me and his son, but he probably would have understood eventually, that was the way he rolled.

RIP Nige, hope there is good beer for you up there, and lots of licorice allsorts.

If you can, and would like to donate, here is the link to my fundraising page.

Even if you can't donate, I hope you enjoy what might be some amusing posts. I might even have to come up with some non-alcoholic drink recipes, which I will duly post.

Cheers! (with glass of sparling water in hand)....