Monday, 29 February 2016


A quick note. My fella is taking me to dinner tonight, for my birthday. I need to go don a frock and makeup etc.

I have celebrated it by doing Crossfit. Front-squatting 40kg with perfect technique and to full depth, glutes powering away.

(FYI - squats are very important for healthy ageing - many older people can't get up off a low chair without using their arms, so get onnit).

I think my 37 year old self is stronger than my 36 year old self.

Definitely in a physical sense, as I have guns (the bicep kind) and glutes, and I know how to use them.

It's not a bravado kind of strong, it's about pushing through and not giving up despite the fears. Perhaps that takes inner confidence, but I still  have my share of self-doubt. I just don't bow down to it.

I feel more comfortable in my skin than this time a year ago, having made some peace with the fact that I am unlikely to ever be a size 8, or even 10 or a small 12.

I still feel self-conscious about the space I take up in the world. Somewhat uncomfortably, I will ask for things, that I will make my presence known, but I have stopped apologising for it.

As I get older, I am getting more "angry feminist". I was describing what I needed to do at the beauty parlour today. My fella called it pampering. I asked "since when is ripping your pubes and stray eyebrows out by their roots pampering?". While I like to challenge the dominant patriarchal paradigm, I still like to look tidy, and have no handlebar mustache activity in a swimsuit. I am also starting to recognise where men have it easier, particularly in a career advancement sense.

As Oscar Wilde said, to be happy, it's necessary not to be too intelligent. So I temper my observations with a good bit of humour and sense of the absurd.

Today, I feel happy and proud of my 37 year old self.


  1. Cilla, everything you post makes so much sense (to this stranger who really enjoys your blog). You should be very proud and happy of the amazing inspiring person you are! Hope you have a fantastic birthday.

  2. Happiness is a good digestion and a bad memory as someone told me. Have a happy birthday x

  3. You make me laugh. You are one smart errr 'bird'. Enjoy your birthday, dear Cilla. Xxx

  4. Happy birthday lovely lady!
    Hope you have a fab day, my fellow piscean!

  5. Happy birthday! Hope you have a wonderful day. Den x

  6. Happy birthday!!! But is it really on the 29th of February??? Then you aren't even double digits yet!

  7. Happy birthday! My birthday present to you is that I promise to get back into my 50 squats every morning routine!

    Have a wonderful day. Proud of you!

  8. You are wise and strong, my friend. Enjoy 37!

    SSG xxx

  9. Hope you had a wonderful birthday dinner! I'm glad I found your blog, you're my kinda girl!