Wednesday, 8 October 2014

Not making dreams my master.


So I have gone from light, shopping related posts to an introspective one here.
One never knows what I might come out with.

It must be that time of the year where I hear every few days that somebody is pregnant. A close girlfriend of mine is about 14 weeks.

I am thrilled and excited for these people, but part of me gets a little jealous. Exactly the same as in this post.

I have a bad case of preggy-envy.

Now that going on, there are certain other things that are occuring within me.

I think about babies quite a lot. It's not a mournful thing. I just have to catch myself.

I am making plans based on being pregnant within a certain period of time.

I catch myself deferring things "in case" I get pregnant.

That is not the path I want to go down.

I came to thinking about this stanza from my favourite poem, If.

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;

I must continue to live my life unashamedly. The path to mumma may well be long or beset with trouble. I can't make dreams my master. As somebody clever once told me, I have to trust in the process.

So I will submit that abstract to present in Boston next year.
And I have registered for the 10km fun run in December with the aim of improving my time.
And I will continue to try and build my private practice.

And I will just try and be patient, and live fully.


  1. We all told you this happens when you are busy making other plans...keep being busy dear Cilla. I am excited about what is to follow...

  2. Second the keep busy , must be stuff you love and are good at, whatever they are. Idleness is the enemy.
    Sending positive vibes your way.