Sunday, 16 October 2016

Ocsober - the first 14 days.

Clearing away the alcohol has been an eye opener.

There is the commonly experienced realisation of how central alcohol is to our social life, and to winding down. To the weekend festivities.

For me, a vino at night has been taken to remove the edge from anxiety. Now, of course, I have to face it. Happily, I am. I can meet the dark scary places in my mind and quickly return from them.

A new insight, though, has been into my personality.

I had always considered myself an extrovert. I had been married to a strongly introverted person, and I suppose I needed to reach out frequently in order to get any socialising done!

Now, I am living with a strong extrovert. Without a social lubricant like alcohol, it brings out the fact that I am not as comfortable in groups of people, particularly those I don't know well,  as I thought I was.

I can be my charming, witty, engaging self for an hour. Two tops. It was probably like that when I had wine but it is very obvious now. I can hang with one or two members of my close tribe for longer, but any more than one or two and I retreat into my inner world early. It gets too much for me.

I think I am an ambivert. Explains a bit, actually. Think my partner knew this all along.

Also, I have learned that I can actually go out and eat dinner and not have alcohol and it is not that bad! Though we have probably been eating out less and that is a good thing.

In other news:
  • The last 10 days, 4 of my friends have announced their pregnancies. The past winter was chilly and I blame this. It's tough, but I rise up.
  • Am off to Bris this week for a conference. Hello not shit weather! Melbourne has not got the spring memo yet.
Where are you on the spectrum of introvert/extrovert?


  1. On the introvert side of amibvert?

    Interesting graphs in the article about career success and where individuals fall on the spectrum.

    Can't load the second page for some reason. Was interested to see what the ambivert criteria were.

    SSG xxx

  2. I spend, and need to spend, a lot of time by myself, but when i am around other people i am most definitely an extrovert! I actually feel anxious if i have to shrink back and be quiet and not participate.

  3. I'd say I'm an ambivert, with introverted inclinations. But I guess even before the term ambivert was coined, there was always a spectrum between the two extremes.

    Good going with the Ocsober project. Just like you, the whole not drinking experience has been a bit of an eye opener - things I thought I knew about myself, and things I'd previously blamed on alcohol have been challenged. It's also made me think a lot about alcohol in my family, culture and all that.

    I wonder if when I can, I'll just continue on as before, or if this is a circuit breaker? I might just go write another blog post about this topic... :-P