Saturday, 21 December 2013

Cookin'. My new years' resolution.

I have been cooking like a demon in my new thermomix.

I have made a fig and ginger panforte to cut up and give as presents for friends and colleagues

I also made my first attempt at bread

I plan on actioning a pavlova for Christmas day.
I have also made lots of delicious breakfast smoothies.

I am feeling suitably "smug cow" - this is my culinary pinnacle, other than the megapav of 2012.


Most years, I make new year resolutions.
Mostly, they are about losing weight or some such.
I had promised myself a nice reward after some arbitrary weight was lost.
One reward was a Diane von Furstenburg dress. Maybe one like this...

And I never made that weight.
And I never got the DvF dress.
And it hung over my head.

It's elusive, that balance between being happy with ourselves, and the quest to be the best version of ourselves that we can be.

It really is a balance. It can't be all about self castigation and deferring pleasure till an arbitrary goal is reached. That will be a set-up for failure, as we all crave gratification.

I must strive, but I must honour myself at the same time, I have realised. More specifically, with regard to my body image, I can work and tighten and get fit but I am coming around to embracing what I was born with.

So my new years' resolution is to continue doing that.

And if I find a DvF dress I like, and I have the cash, I will jolly well buy it.

A few months ago, I caught a look at myself in underwear in the mirror. I thought "I don't know how anyone could find this attractive".

It really was the conscious crystallisation of many years of...well...loathing. That's a strong word but it is probably apt.

I pulled myself up then, thought "that's awful" and "that's enough".

So the other new years' resolution is to recognise and challenge those kind of thoughts.

After all, I see plenty of women who I think "wow, they are gorgeous" - they are only sometimes classically beautiful or a size 8. Usually they are striking, or particularly well turned out, or come across as very confident.

Why can't I make that of myself? Of course I can.

What have you baked lately?
What purchase do you lust after?


  1. I think little goals re improving fitness or skin are healthy. It keeps your weight in a healthy RANGE and this is key. But, Cilla, my Lovely, learn this: the last thing on the mind of someone who loves you is that you mightn't look attractive in smalls...or a la naturel, the 'weaker' of our species does not think like that. Or, rather the right person for us doesn't. I never point out any shortcomings to Mr Fascinata and he never notices. I tell you, they are a different animal to us. Grew up with a much smaller frame mother, who frequently would comment how broad my hips were. Good Lord. Good thoughts to share on body image, thank you. Xx Paneforte is delicious.

  2. Having been both slim and beg I no longer invest much time nor energy thinking about it. All that time wasted I could have written a bloody novel! I just ent to be healthy now...just get the dress! X

  3. the DVF wrap around dress is meant to be the most universally flattering. Cook, eat up and get yourself a DVF dress. Merry Christmas!