Tuesday, 6 March 2018

8 Weeks. Seedy queen.

It's really starting to sink in, this preggo business.

Over the last week or so, I have been starting to feel ill. It is not limited to the morning, but occurs every time I get hungry. I have about 2 minutes to get something to eat before I feel sick. Thankfully, I have not vomited. I hate vomiting, it is a traumatic experience.

More prominently, I am getting food aversions. I have gone right off meat, unless it is contained in a dim sim (steamed, in my defence), a Maccas cheeseburger, or a sausage. I can only really manage salads, not steamed vegetables.

I went to a barbecue yesterday, I ate the meat sparingly, but felt personally victimised by the complete lack of any potato-based foodstuffs. Surely a potato salad is mandatory at a barbie?

My tastes have become more bland. I prefer salty food to sweet food. I have gone off coffee a bit, and don't like the idea of red wine, however a sneaky glass of champers on my birthday (39!!!!)  was thoroughly enjoyed.

I can only stomach a chocolate milkshake after my crossfit workout. A small one. In my defence, it contains protein.

I can't tolerate much food at a time, and have been a convert to the "small amounts frequently" school of food consumption.

I know that my food choices aren't the healthiest, but it's really about getting through the busy days feeling as good as I can. Toasty cheese and tomato sandwiches have replaced fried goods. I am enjoying fruit, so I eat sufficient quantities of this. I am (mostly) doing the best I can. Besides, I figure these food preferences must serve some biological purpose.

I have been talking to my sister, she had identical food preferences during her first trimester. Down to the Chocolate Milkshake cravings.

I have developed a supernatural sense of smell. This is a little unfortunate, working in health care and living with a dog who sometimes does excited piddle leaks. I can also get quite dizzy when I stand up- the progesterone is working its magic on my blood vessels.

I have been doing crossfit. It makes me feel good to feel capable and work within my limitations (mainly feeling a bit seedy and sometimes dizzy) but still get a sweat happening. To know that the 80% effort I can comfortably muster is actually better than the 100% effort of last year. I have been doing the crossfit open, and have seen improvements.

It is reassuring to be having these symptoms. I didn't have them as strongly last time.

Still, it is hard to get too excited. I look back and ponder what I have been through, and how depleted I felt up to the time I got the two lines on the stick. It's quite unsurprising I find it hard to get excited. It'll come, hopefully, all going well.

In recent months, have made friends with some funny and irreverent infertiles on the 'gram. A couple of them have made the decision to stop treatment. I completely get where they are coming from. There is more power in walking away from what is not working than in pining for something that is moving further and further away. There is space for them to grieve. They seem better now.

As always, I have had plenty of other things to do and think about. Our impending house knockdown rebuild. Some papers I have to write. A job application. Normal life goes on.


  1. Yay. Seedy is good. Keep chugging. We are all willing you along. Sam

  2. I never ate salads not prepared by myself and remember real egg mayonnaise may not be pasteurised (potato salad).also whilst I was pregnant I didn’t realise orange roughy was deep sea perch (a no no). Sorry if you didn’t want me to say this, I felt compelled It took me 11 years to have my 1st bubba so I know how you are feeling. Robyn.

  3. I remember the early stages of pregnancy as being full of anxiety. Pregnancy seemed so unreal and fragile, and I lived with the constant threat of 'the worst' hanging over my head for a while. I wonder if anyone can enjoy this period? I wish we could know the outcome, so we could just relax for a moment and appreciate the ride. Knowing even just a little of what you've gone through to get this far, I can't imagine the crazy mix of feeling you must be juggling.
    Apparently symptoms of morning sickness are a good sign, so I guess embrace the nausea?

    1. I had a similar experience; there was too much anxiety to enjoy the pregnancy. It was hard to balance non-investment with getting ready for a huge life change.

  4. I’m so happy for you! Take the morning sickness as a good sign that the baby is well and truely there! As a dedicated coffee person I found coffee repulsive through both my pregnancies and again I’d take that as a good sign. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you as you head towards the 12 week milestone

  5. So happy for you Cilla! I had a similar thing with the sense of smell... I don't think it's quite gone away sadly! I'm always complaining everything smells.
    Exciting times ahead with the house reno and the pregnancy. Hoping the horrible tummy continues. While awful it does has a reassuring element to it. x

  6. That identical food cravings business is fascinating! I am so happy and excited for you. For all the things.

    SSG xxx

  7. I too have heard that so-called “morning” sickness is a sign that things are going well. Food cravings/aversions are so interesting! I couldn’t stomach chocolate and sweets in general and also preferred salty or tart foods (pickles! Fries!). Luckily I could still stomach coffee (so, all the important food groups). I really understand not getting excited yet. I basically kept everything in until about 3rd trimester/giving birth (including social media, and I still haven’t updated the blog, etc) as it seemed too risky, basically until I was holding a healthy newborn.