So I went for a job a couple of weeks ago. I bought a new dress for it and everything.
I did not get the job. I was crushed. I was given reasons, they did not relate to my ability, they wanted to keep existing staff on.
In applying for the job, I was wanting to a. work close to home and b. help along my career. I had reservations about whether I would feel comfortable or included within that role, or whether I have the same ethos as other staff members.
Mostly, being knocked back was a blow to the ego.
Perhaps the more difficult thing was this occurring on the background of significant frustration related to my infertility. On spec the two things aren't related but to me, it's the feeling of not kicking goals.
However, I have felt the work-love - other boss types have come forward to offer me more work, and support for what I want to achieve in my career.
I think I will achieve more in my work if I feel happy, embraced and encouraged, rather than on guard in a dog-eat-dog, closed shop environment.
Onward and upward, though. Plenty to look forward to, plenty to do, and plenty of love.