Christmas 2013.

It was a busy lead up. Work, cooking, organising.

There was a bit of anxiety that we would not have enough, or things would go wrong. (My thermie pavlova was an epic fail, I ended up buying one - I had been warned that pavs don't do well in the thermie but the warnings went unheeded, think I might use the trusty hand mixer that proved a success last year)

That anxiety sounds a bit silly now it is all over.

It went well, and it was lovely.

Here are some pics.

my dress.

a bit of prep

Ham - KR Castlemaine - very succulent.

my lovely mum with some Thai Visitors

The crew, outside.

dessert. Brandy Creme Anglaise made in Thermie YUMM

And a gratuitous pic of a french bulldog puppy.

I hope you all had a lovely Christmas.

I have been madly tidying, working and doing a spot of shopping.

I have also gotten into the series Breaking Bad...very dark, quite sad, but strangely compelling. Plus I loved chemistry in high school.

Now preps are in full swing for New Years' Eve.

I am off to BrisVegas for a sojourn next weekend.

And you?

How was your Christmas?
What have you planned for NYE?
Have you watched Breaking Bad?

Cookin'. My new years' resolution.

I have been cooking like a demon in my new thermomix.

I have made a fig and ginger panforte to cut up and give as presents for friends and colleagues

I also made my first attempt at bread

I plan on actioning a pavlova for Christmas day.
I have also made lots of delicious breakfast smoothies.

I am feeling suitably "smug cow" - this is my culinary pinnacle, other than the megapav of 2012.

~*~

Most years, I make new year resolutions.
Mostly, they are about losing weight or some such.
I had promised myself a nice reward after some arbitrary weight was lost.
One reward was a Diane von Furstenburg dress. Maybe one like this...

And I never made that weight.
And I never got the DvF dress.
And it hung over my head.

It's elusive, that balance between being happy with ourselves, and the quest to be the best version of ourselves that we can be.

It really is a balance. It can't be all about self castigation and deferring pleasure till an arbitrary goal is reached. That will be a set-up for failure, as we all crave gratification.

I must strive, but I must honour myself at the same time, I have realised. More specifically, with regard to my body image, I can work and tighten and get fit but I am coming around to embracing what I was born with.

So my new years' resolution is to continue doing that.

And if I find a DvF dress I like, and I have the cash, I will jolly well buy it.

A few months ago, I caught a look at myself in underwear in the mirror. I thought "I don't know how anyone could find this attractive".

It really was the conscious crystallisation of many years of...well...loathing. That's a strong word but it is probably apt.

I pulled myself up then, thought "that's awful" and "that's enough".

So the other new years' resolution is to recognise and challenge those kind of thoughts.

After all, I see plenty of women who I think "wow, they are gorgeous" - they are only sometimes classically beautiful or a size 8. Usually they are striking, or particularly well turned out, or come across as very confident.

Why can't I make that of myself? Of course I can.

What have you baked lately?
What purchase do you lust after?

Thermomix. Perfect. A prescription for the "Bah Humbugs".

Howdy, all!

I took delivery of my little beastie on Saturday.

Part of the whole shebang is having the Thermie Consultant come to your house and show you how to use the thing. My lady bought some pumpkin and other vegies and we made a pumpkin soup! It was delish!

After my epic work shift on Sunday morning, I decided some therapeutic cooking was in order. I actioned a curry (from scratch), some cumin and lemon infused rice, some cake and a beetroot salad. They were eaten enthusiastically by my Fella and my mum. Part of the cake was even appreciated by my colleagues.

I have subsequently created a spaghetti bolognese and breakfast smoothies. I will be actioning a panforte to slice up and give as presents.
And of course there will be pavlova.

Is it possible to love a machine?

Other than the fevered cooking, it has been busy here in Cilla-ville. Busy like just about everybody else. Decisions to be made. Things to be bought. I am trying not to let all of it get to me too much. Luckily some anxiety regarding changed/bigger roles at work has subsided and I am enjoying the challenges.



Love Offspring? Of course you do.
Love Eddie Perfect? Mais oui.
He was playing at a local pub last night, with a jazz ensemble called The Renovators.
They were playing Jazz versions of popular RnB artists, including Beyonce, Rihanna, Chris Brown and Craig David.
Eddie even had some special guests, who stole the show.
It was Eddie's birthday, and he looked like he really enjoyed just playing his music and bantering on stage, it was quite a casual gig.
We enjoyed it.


There has been a little bit in the blogosphere about finding Christmas Stressful.
Some posts even ask advice on how to deal with it.

Christmas is crappily timed, at the end of the year, when everything else also has to be done.
A time to reflect, perhaps on a year that wasn't what you imagined it would be, or was downright awful. Unpleasant feelings are often intensified at this time of year.
Worse, you feel guilty because you are supposed to be joyful and grateful, right? Everyone else is!

Actually no.

We can't control what happened, but we can control the guilt about not feeling the "christmas joy" (which is similar to "motivation", "happiness" and the "tooth fairy")
So no guilt, 'kay?
Take a bit of time to feel your feelings.

I remember Christmas eve, 2011. 2011 was a difficult year. I was sat alone, in my house.
I don't need to tell you how that felt.
What did I do? Got shitfaced on wine, ate a truckload of shortbread and had a good, hard howl, while Sex and the City DVDs blared in the background. The next day, I got up and got on with it.

I thoroughly recommend it.
It's ok.
Do what you need to do.

What kitchen/other gadget do you like?
What is your comfort activity of choice?
Anything else you wish to share?