Good Kiwi Things.

Despite the gentle ribbing and sheep jokes and taking the pi55 out of the accent (fush and chups, bro) there is a very genuine affection between Australia and New Zealand. Must go back to the ANZACs. I am forthcoming in saying that NZ is ahead of Australia in some things; Marriage Equality, environmental friendliness and, dare I say it, the Rugby.

My fella is Kiwi, and he is orright, too.

This week has been a big week, full of a few good Kiwi things.

NZ punches above its weight in terms of making good music, to the point that we will adopt some bands as our own. One of which is Crowded House. There are very few people who don't like Crowded House, or Split Enz. Such catchy and eclectic music, something for everyone there, and some of the songs are just made for karaoke nights.

On Wednesday, we went to see Crowded House frontman Neil Finn at the Recital Centre.

There was a lot of love in the room. It was Neil's birthday, and a few songs in, somebody shouted "Happy birthday" and passed a present and a card to the stage. The room erupted in a chorus of Happy Birthday. Neil, in his sheepish way, sort of smiled and shuffled his feet. Later, he became bolder, bantering with the Audience and showing a sense of humour. He played piano, played the guitar, and even trotted out a string orchestra. He even picked a member of the audience to play a few notes on the piano to accompany him.

One of my favourite songs from the set was this one. Take the time to watch the video, it is one of the most cleverly arranged songs I have ever heard.

He also did a beautiful stripped-back version of "Message to My Girl", the audience burst into applause when the first piano riffs of the song were played. I struggle not to cry when I hear this song, particularly when stripped back and heartfelt like he played it.

It was a magic night, one of the best concerts I have been to, and the Audience were on their feet afterward.

I confess to harbouring a bit of a crush; he has aged well, even better than my other ageing crush, Johnny Farnham.

The other good Kiwi thing this week:

We has a dishwasher! It is a Fisher and Paykel, and the knowledgeable of you might know F&P are (were) a Kiwi brand. The Parent company is now Haier, a Chinese company.

As far as I am concerned, the house is complete for the time being. I hate washing dishes, my talents lying elsewhere.

The weekend has been taken up with being a mock examiner for the physician exams, and thesis writin'. No rest for the wicked, etc.

Any good things for you recently?

Nearly there...

I don't really like the word "busy" - for me, it has too many negative connotations. I feel uncomfortable at the word "busy. It's used too often to shirk quality interpersonal time, or as a badge of superiority.

Having more things to do than usual - that's a bit more descriptive. I feel lucky to have lots to do. The time goes too fast though. I try, however, to smell the roses. Value-add to the day, add some pleasantness to the rat race. A good coffee in the scarce sunshine. Lunch between appointments at a place I've never before visited.

The fella and I are in the throes of moving. Always loads of things to do. It can get a bit stressful. Everyone has to take in their stride at least one thing going wrong (for us, it was a hired professional cleaner doing a crappy job and charging a premium).

I've also had a crook back - not so good a time to have one, with all the bending and lifting required. I am thankful to my trainer that my arms, legs and core are strong; I can squat right down, handle a big box, and stand up without bending. Ability to squat deeply and strongly is super important. I recommend you practice, if you don't already.

But I digress.

My dear friends M and R helped us do some of the initial moving today, as R has a big van. We got quite a lot across to the new house. M and R also got to see our new digs for the first time. They loved the new digs, and their enthusiasm helped us to remember to be excited!

I've already done some important things. Dusted the skirting boards (the Fella gets uptight about such things, I don't notice them). I've unpacked some kitchen utensils, laying out a very logical kitchen arrangement. It would appear that the little lady that owned the house had a bit of a souvenir teaspoon collection; it was left in one of the drawers. Every time I see that sort of thing, I am reminded of my nanna. The box had "Spoons" written on it, in copperplate handwriting. Bless.

The fella and I put our new bed together. It only took us about 25 minutes, and the fella only cussed a few times, and there were no cross words between us. 

The neighbours' cat, whose name I later discovered is Lebowski, paid us a visit while we were unpacking. It just waltzed on in like it owned the joint. I suspect it got feeds and pats from the previous owner.

I do not think Bella will take kindly to Lebowski invading her territory.

Poor little Bella has been a bit confused. She does not know what is going on. Having visited the new digs, we think she will like them - she rolled about on the carpet to make it smell nice, and did some happy laps in her new backyard.

So the actual moving day is on Tuesday. Tomorrow, I have to work. A manic couple of days, followed by what I suspect will be a protracted period of unpacking, trips to Ikea and Bunnings, and imagining renovations.

How was your weekend?

Big things. Backing myself.

There's a lot happening around here at the moment...

The House! How lucky we were...... we have already started considering what we will do, renovations wise.

Work! I am taking new directions in that... it will be different, hopefully enjoyable.

I am trying to crank up my PhD work.

Baby plans have moved forward. All the "pre-baby" health things are being thought of and actioned.

It's exciting..and yet, it makes me anxious. Full of "but what if (insert thing here) happens"

I worry about whether I have the skills to take my job in this direction, even though there is no reason why not.

I am extremely sensitive to new mums talking about their crying babies. About how "it is the hardest job in the world". So sensitive that I have unfollowed a few people on facebook.

Thank God for the Mums I follow on these blogs - they are an excellent counterpoint and are so positive.

What if I don't know what to do? What if I don't like it? What if I fall to pieces? Get depressed? I have already made an anxious call to my mum confirming that she will be there to give instructions when I don't know what to do. It's not something you can practice for.

The underlying theme here is that I worry that I won't be good enough.

I worry that I won't be good enough, without any evidence that that is true.

By the by, I caught up with a friend whose marriage is on it's last legs. I went to Uni with him. We did the uni thing, graduated together, got married at similar times. Some of our colleagues had kids. Now they are having number 2 and 3. Now the first lot of marriages are breaking up....all different stages of life.

I told him without batting an eyelid that, whatever happens, he will be alright. There will be a time when he is happy. I told him that with absolute confidence, based on my own experience of that happening.

I need to learn to have a bit of faith. That anticipating the worst doesn't insulate me against bad things happening, but will definitely erode my confidence. I am somebody for whom the anticipation is almost always worse than the actuality.

I am having to learn to back myself, to have confidence in the fact that I can deal with things, and make the best of things. I've done it many times before, and I can do it again. Fear, like guilt, is a wasteful emotion much of the time.

Thankyou for reading that ramble. x

House.

For the last 3 or so Saturday mornings, the fella and I have been out and about looking at houses.

We each had a list of things we wanted which mainly overlapped - renovated or in need of only cosmetic renos in first instance, the desired suburb, proximity to nice things like cafes, pubs, parks. We also had a hard upper price limit, based on conservative estimates of our income, allowing for me having to take some leave from work (all going well).

Ideally there would be scope for value-adding. 

We saw a few places and engaged in heated debate about some of them. There was one that the fella liked but I was not yet taken with. I gave it a bit of thought, and thought the scope for value adding was excellent. I came around, especially after an inspiring first trip to Ikea.

There were a couple of places up for auction today. The first one was that place that was under such debate.

I had never bid at an auction before. I was nervous. We were nervous.

There was one other bidder. We ended up having the highest bid, which was within the estimated sale range, but it was passed in.

We went in for a discussion with the agents. They said that the vendors just wanted to sell today, and were happy with the reserve price. The agents slipped out. While they slipped out, a potential buyer turned up. They had missed the auction. They said "I think it will go for about $xxxx".

The wait was very tense. They came back with a price, which we were very happy with. We had expected to pay more. We shook hands on it.

We signed the paperwork. My hands were shaking. I felt dazed, but in a good way.

We met the vendor. It was her departed mum's house, and she lived across the road. I quickly noted that she had tears in her eyes. I said "It's an emotional day". She told me a bit about her mum, who lived in the house alone until just before she passed. We had a bit of a chinwag, and found out that she works in the same health service as I, and we know some common people!

The vendor, her hubby and her niece told us about the street. Told us the neighbours were nice and friendly.

We showed the vendor and the agent photos of our dog, pleased that she would have a good sized backyard to run about in. The vendor had 2 dogs. We arranged future cuppa and doggy play dates.

I have always felt that if something occurs easily, and feels right, it is meant to be. I am glad that we will be living in the house, not knocking it down, and in some way honouring the memory of the woman who lived in it, who raised a family there. There was a happy story in that place, and we are excited to carry it on.

Villa Cilla

Hi There,

I had a post in the pipeworks reflecting about ANZAC day and how happy and lucky I feel.

I can precis it by saying I feel happy and lucky.

If (God forbid) I was given a dire prognosis tomorrow, I would be satisfied with what I have done in my life, and where I am now. I have (mostly, barring the odd meltdown) made peace with my past, and I feel calm about my future. I have all I need, and most of the things I want. My relationships are satisfying, and that with myself has improved over the recent years.

plus, on the weekend, we met Tig, the French Bulldog. How can this little fella fail to put a smile on your dial. I cannot even deal with how cute he was...


That's that, really.

Sooo, there's been a bit going on around here. I am trying to get chapters 1 and 2 written before I go away in June. Hence my sporadic and sometimes less than meaty posts.

My job arrangements are changing. In a good way, but there is a bit to get my head around there too.

Preparations for trying for a little 'un are being attended.

And the fella and I have been looking for a house.

That's quite a big thing, I think. Our ideas of what constitutes a good dwelling overlap mostly, it's just working out the nitty gritty that can get us occasionally bogged down.

We have looked at a few houses, and researched the market via the real estate sites. We have an appreciation that the going price of the house is about $100K above the upper end of the estimated sale price - give or take! Cheeky devils.

There are some houses that are immediately attractive, plug and play, gussied up. But I realise that a lot of that is smoke and mirrors. A good interior designer. Use of double beds instead of queen beds to make a room look bigger etc.

What I am starting to appreciate is the house that is a tarter-upper. One that is serviceable, liveable, but not recently prettied up. Not something that needs major alterations to.

I know! I have had no particular interest in interior design before! I look with awe at Heidi's and Naomi's blogs.

Today I actually PICKED UP a home decoration magazine!

And....and.... I made my first trip to Ikea! So many ideas there! It was overwhelming! The cool things you can get there! The choice! We even had the meatballs!

I like the idea of changing some floor coverings, putting a lick of paint on, gussying up the kitchen to what I would like. If the place can be lived in for a few months to get a feel for what would work, before gussying, so much the better.

It would be good to make a place very much our own, with our own stamp on it. It's not something I've done before. I'm excited.