Taking stock....

I think this is a good theme for my post as it sums up what I have been thinking the last day or so....

As somebody who has had to tame the black dog, I have had to learn to catch myself out of negative thoughts about myself.

I was always taught to be humble, a little self deprecating; I think a lot of us have been taught not to toot our horn too loud. Yet I took that to heart. Thoughts that would start innocently enough, but would be so frequent and magnified, then they would be internalised and taken as God's truth without a single challenge.

I have learned a lot about mindfulness, and catching and letting go of unhelpful thoughts.

Better yet, though, would I dare think something nice about myself?

Could I catch and keep hold of a good thought about myself?

So I gave myself a challenge today. Think of five good things about myself. It was not a comfortable thing to think about, but here they are.


1. I make people laugh.

I am the queen of irreverent and inappropriate humour.  Get a couple of wines in me, and I am even better.

2. I give a shit.

I am a caring person. If I see somebody floundering, I will ask them about it and try my best to help. If I see your child about to swallow something they shouldn't, I will let you know (it takes a community to raise a child). I will give a person a hug if they look like they need one.

3. I am not afraid (anymore) to be myself.

We can only really be ourselves; to be anything else is very difficult and tiring. I used to show bits of myself then worry incessantly that people didn't like me. Then I would apologise and vet my behaviour.

With maturity, I have learned that there are times when I need to shut my gob, let it go to the keeper, but as a general rule I can be myself and people will like me for it (and people won't - their loss).

4. I am good at drawing.

And painting. I showed a bit of aptitude at high school but gave it away for more scholarly pursuits. It is a talent I would like to embrace a little more, train a little more.

5. I know a little bit about lots of things.

I think it's important to take an interest in things. If something piques my interest, I will look it up on wikipedia. Apart from 1970s bands and footy stats, I would be quite good on your pub quiz team.

~~~~~~~~~
The other thing I need to take stock of, I feel, is my spending. To be clear, I don't spend more than I earn, but money can burn a hole in my pocket and I tend to spend it on clothes and shoes. Fine feathers make the bird, as I said last post. However, more stuff does not a happy person make, and I would like to be a little more mindful about what discretionary purchases I make. It is far too easy to go shopping. In fact, I just did, which is what prompted this post (plus the fact they had 25% off shoes I had my eyes on....)

So as a first step, I got a (free) app to monitor incomings and outgoings....particularly these discretionary purchases. It might just get me thinking a little more before I buy.


Sooo, what about you?
Here is your opportunity to toot your horn - tell me some awesome things about yourself. Let's cheer each other on.
Any budgeting tips to share with me?

Frugal Fancy Food - Minestrone

I love food.
I love cooking.
I don't let the fact that I live alone discourage me from cooking. I only wish I had a dishwasher in my flat. When the fella comes over for food, he is the dishwasher. He is better at washing dishes than I.
Cooking is one of my things. Dishwashing is not.

I enjoy the challenge of making run of the mill, economical food into something amazing and healthy and yummy. And filling.

I have been wanting to action a soup since the weather went cooler, but I wanted something very, very tasty.

I am proud to say that this minestrone is pretty freaking awesome. Instead of bacon (too salty and a bit bland) or pork hock (a bit more expensive and hard to get my mitts on), I used italian pork sausages, which were lurking in my freezer.

My recipe:

• 4 good quality pork sausages, casings removed. I used the spicy sausages and they made the soup hum nicely.
• 1 440g tin borlotti beans (you can use cannellini if you prefer)
• 1/2 litre of beef stock (that was all I had hanging around and it made the soup lovely and rich)
• 1 tin chopped tomatoes
• 1 brown onion, chopped
• 2 cloves garlic/2tsp crushed garlic.
• Diced Vegetables - 1 zucchini, 2 stalks celery, 1-2 carrots, Parsnip. I got my mitts on some freshly chopped vegetables at my greengrocer - they were discounted as they had been sitting around a bit - $2.50 as opposed to $6. WIN.
• 2 potatoes, unpeeled, diced. You could substitute some pasta here but put it in in the end so it doesn't go mushy.
• Some leafy greens - very nutritious but very tastless on their own. You could use silverbeet or chard. I used a bag of baby spinach that I had in the bottom of my fridge that was on its way out.
• Oregano, 1-2 teaspoons
• Fennel seeds- 1 teaspoon - goes well with the pork.
• Water, added to correct consistency and make "soupy" rather than "saucy".
• Salt (I had some mushroom flavoured salt hanging about so I added that, It made the flavour even deeper)
• Sugar - 2-3 teaspoons - adds well to the spiciness of the sausages, and brings out the sweetness of the tomato.

In a heavy based pot, fry the onions and garlic in a generous glug of olive oil till glossy. Add the sausage innards and fry till browned.
Add some more olive oil and then add the rest of the veggies apart from the spinach. Pop the lid on and let them sweat for a little while.
Add the beans, tomatoes and stock, plus some water. Add the greens and herbs and salt and sugar. Bring to boil, let reduce a little, simmer for about 1/2 hour. Ensure veggies are tender. 
Serve with some parmesan cheese and some bread. But really this is so filling that you don't actually need the bread. Any excuse for sourdough, though, right?

This makes about 5-6 generous serves. It is gosh-darned tasty, if I don't say so myself. It is so nutritious I am glowing like I have just been for a run or done some mattress aerobics. I have popped some in the freezer to enjoy later.

It works out to about 2-3 bucks a serve, depending on how cheaply you can source the sausages. But given that these are the hero in this dish, if you can, go for quality.

Here is some minestrone porn:

Setting my intentions for May.

It's a day late but I have been thinking about this for a while.

These are goals that I like

• short-medium term
• concrete
• with an end date
• achievable
• with maybe a reward at the end

In the past, my goal was always to "lose weight", never with a sustainable plan or a "how to", and never with an end date. I would be chronically disappointed in myself. All my other goals, like my medical training, were long term and a bit of a slog.

I am going away to Seoul for a conference on June the 21st. So the goal can encompass both months up till June 21. Then I can toast myself at the airport.

My goals are:
1. Go to Korea with no/ minimal credit card debt (less than $200).
How I will do this:

• The end of April was decidedly un-frugal, with a bit of spending in Sydney. I bought me some pretties - look:

  

  Pullover from Cue.

  and this:

  

  knit Tunic from Veronika Maine.

  
  

They look great on, but cost a bit. Plus the trip itself, I paid for.
My problem is that, this year, expenses are up and income is down. Though I must emphasise I am not struggling for cash, I do have to watch it a little more closely this year. I grew up with a single mum, and lived out of home on $300 per fortnight (a good 10 years ago, but still) so I know what it is to struggle for cash, in fact, this motivated me to get into a good profession. 
But I digress.
I have to put a lid on the discretionary spending, as I have some nice and not-so-nice but necessary big things I have to pay for.
Here is where I can happily cut back:

• no more new clothes/shoes. Seriously. I have enough of them. 
• no buying tickets to expensive gigs/ concerts/ fun runs - with the exception being the Sri Chinmoy race on may 26th. That is cheap and they have pancakes afterwards. Win-win.
• try to bring lunch to work every day. Or if I forget, making it a cheap meal (simple sandwich) or one I can pick up on the way to work from the supermarket. It is quite easy to spend about $13 on lunch, including a drink. That is $65 per week.
• Cook at home when I am at home, and using up what is in my cupboard. Planning meals. Buying cheap, seasonal fresh produce.
• Spend a night in, watching a movie on Fetch-TV. They are usually about $5 or $6 - far cheaper than a movie out. Plus nobody yabbering or kicking the back of your seat.

 2. Get Chapters 1 and 2 of the Thesis written.
I am doing a PhD, this takes up most of my working week. I work for actual money 0.3FTE. I need to be a bit more disciplined (ie not piss about on the internet). But if I give myself an end-date for this, I can get it done. I can get on the plane happy.

3. Go for a swim once a week.
I love swimming - it is so relaxing and helps with my sore back +++. It soothes my sore muscles from running. This is a nice goal. I can do this.

4. Get to bed for 10:30 when I am at home and not doing anything. Perhaps even earlier.
I am one of those folks who needs my sleep - 5 hours doesn't cut it for me. Plus it's getting cold and my bed is warm.

I think that'll do.
I shall check in at the end of this month and then before I go off to Korea.

Anything you'd like to do this month?